It is going to take some time to fully paint the picture of why I hate the internet. And I should begin with a clarification: the internet, as an idea and a tool, is fine. Bringing people from all over the world together is a noble cause, and I applaud the efforts of those who wanted to make that happen. And I will also clarify that the scope of this topic is going to be narrow, and will skip over the following topics (for now):
- bad internet providers and their poor practices
- the fact that in this day and age it should be free for everyone
- security problems, viruses, and identity theft
- poorly designed web browsers that all do basically the same thing, but none of them get it quite right
- AI trying to predict what you want to see next, trapping you in an information bubble
Those things may all yet be covered in other rants, but we are here to discuss the main issue with why I hate the internet: the people. As I said, bringing people together is a noble goal, but when you realize that you really hate those people? You develop a little resentment for the medium that brought them into your home.
And what is so wrong with people on the internet? You’re probably already thinking of social media junkies, youtube commenters, and internet trolls. And yes, those are unpleasant, but are a breath of fresh air compared to the real problem.
Keep in mind that on the internet anyone can post anything, whether they are right or wrong, whether they are informed or not, and whether or not they care what horrors they might unleash upon their fellow humans. And so we get something like this:
This is only one example of an unlimited supply. I mean… so very very much is wrong with this! The most glaring is that the message is telling you that anything is possible, but the image is showing you something that clearly never happened, because it’s impossible.
And then we have to ask… why does the lion even want to be on stilts? Is he jealous of how tall the giraffe is? Are we celebrating jealousy? I feel this is encouraging women to wear those stupid six inch heels. Wouldn’t a “be yourself” or “you don’t have to compete” message be more uplifting? And if it’s about height, let’s not forget lions are already quite adept at climbing trees.
Or maybe the lion is trying to sneak up on the giraffe, making the giraffe the stupidest animal ever for falling for the disguise? Nevermind the fact that lions are naturally sneaky, and can already do that, it would explain why the caption mentions having intelligence (something the creator clearly lacked).
Or maybe the lion is really attracted to the giraffe, and the giraffe isn’t having it because the lion is too different, and the lion has to change himself to meet someone else’s standards? A piece of advice, you should never do that. And yes, that’s a little far-fetched, and I don’t think it was the creators intention, but I’m just trying to cover all bases, because I cannot imagine any scenario where this makes any kind of sense.
Okay, so now why is this so bad? It’s just a stupid image, why don’t I just move on and put it out of my mind? Because as I said earlier, there is an unlimited supply of them. They come in many forms, and appear in many places, and you just can’t avoid them. And when you try to point out to people why they (the images, not the people) are terrible, and thus why it would be a kindness if they (the people) would stop sharing them with you, you get called cynical, and somehow now you’re the bad guy.
And it’s infuriating! I mean, we really don’t need these at all. Nobody was ever having a bad day, saw a picture of a lion on stilts and things started going alright. If you’re having a rough time, you have problems that some random image isn’t going to solve. But, even if these could fix things in your life, why not make them half decent? Like, find a story where someone faced a legitimate challenge, instead of putting a lion in an impossible and unrelatable situation?
But that isn’t going to happen, because that’s not the point. The point is to create and share content that people will “like” and share again. In other words, to get attention. And because people want to be perceived as nice and happy, they will like their friends pictures, and because they want attention themselves they’ll share them again to more of their friends. And if you’re like me, and take the time to ask nicely and explain why this should all stop, you’ve still commented on their post. Which gives them attention. They don’t care what you’ve said, they only look at the number of comments and think, “I’m popular!”
Positive, negative, they don’t care, as long as it’s attention. And so they won’t stop, and the only way to get away from it is to unfriend them, block them, and never associate with them again. But, if the internet is supposed to bring us all together, and the only way to save your sanity it to push people away… then maybe the internet itself has a problem.