Also called the Lunar New Year, this entire celebration makes no sense. First of all, let’s talk about the name. Lunar New Year. Lunar, having to do with the moon, and year, referring to how long it takes our planet to circle the sun. The moon and sun both have cycles that are entirely unrelated to each other. So already this is problematic.
Why do we even care about the new year at all? Well, it’s a convenient way to measure time. We go through four very distinct seasons, and then the cycle repeats. Measuring time is important, and I’m all for any excuse to have a party, so we’re all good here. No problems. But why a lunar new year celebration?
Well, I can imagine that a long long time ago keeping track of the stars, and measuring time in general, was hard. But the moon is big, and easy. Count the full moons in between your first snowfalls, and you get about twelve. So okay, twelve months in a year. For primitive people, that’s a simple, workable solution. But we aren’t primitive now, are we?
On average, a lunar month is 29 days, 12 hours, and 44 minutes. With twelve months, you don’t quite reach 355 days. As you might be aware, that’s less than the 365 days, 5 hours, forty-eight minutes, and 46 seconds that the actual year is. Note also that measuring a year in a number of days doesn’t really work either, as the Earth’s rotation, and it’s journey around the sun don’t divide evenly. On top of that, each lunar month is actually a different length: the longest is twelve hours and forty-three minutes more than the shortest. So things don’t line up.
The Winter solstice (December 21st) is the longest night of the year, and marks the first actual day of Winter. In the Chinese calendar this takes place during the eleventh month, which means that the lunar new year takes place on the second full moon after the solstice (the first full moon is the twelfth month, the second is the first month). But, as we have talked about, the lunar calendar and the solar calendar don’t line up, so this means that the new year can start anywhere between the 21st of January and the 20th of February.
A lunar new year makes no sense.
And a lunar calendar is a terribly way to mark time.
Now, I’m not saying the Gregorian calendar is all that much better. When we think of seasons, we think Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter, right? So the year should start with spring, and instead it starts just after Winter. And since the solstices are so important, why not start the year on the solstice, instead of ten days after? And why do we have twelve months of differing lengths? If a month is used to measure time, why is there no standard for what a “month” actually means?
I would set up the calendar to have 13 months. Who cares how many moons there are? Each month would have 28 days, so every month begins on the exact same day of the week. All of those holidays that are weird and take place on the second-to-last Thursday of the month, or the second Tuesday? Well, now they are on the same day, every year. And I would make the year start on the Winter Solstice, and each season would be three months and one week.
Now, what some of you are thinking is, wait, that math doesn’t add up. 13*28 is 364. That’s right. Every year there would be an extra day (and on leap years there would be two), and this is not a day of the week, nor is it a day of any month. It is a day that doesn’t count, is a holiday for everyone, and the time we take to celebrate the new year.
I would also change all the names. Janus, Mars, and Juno are roman Gods, but Februa is a roman celebration. April is named after the latin for the word “open”, and May is a Greek god. Then we have July and August, for the Caesars, followed by Sept- Oct- Nov- Dec- for 7,8,9, and 10… except they’re ACTUALLY 9,10,11 and 12.
Anyway, the point is the calendars currently in use don’t make any sense. Any attempt to use the moon or the Earth’s rotation (days) to determine a year isn’t going to work, because the numbers just don’t add up (if there were a God, you’d think he’d have made everything magically work out and divide evenly, wouldn’t you?).
But all of that aside, what about the actual new year traditions?
For Chinese New Year, everyone likes the color red. Red clothes, red pockets, red decorations, red fireworks… I’ve dated Chinese girls, and when I met their parents they loved me because I happened to be wearing a red shirt that day. And why? Red is lucky. It is the color of fortune. Meaning the more red you have, the more money you are going to have.
And they give out red envelopes to the younger generations. What are these? Literally, they are envelopes full of money. And they have food shaped like money, and… Basically, the entire celebration is this: let’s try and invite luck into our lives so this next year we will have lots of money. And yeah, sure, being successful and profitable are both good things, but aren’t we supposed to value friendship, and family, and those things money can’t buy? Well, no, not if you’re Chinese.
And what about the rest of the world, that celebrates the new year on December 31st (and this even includes most of the Chinese people I know, because why wouldn’t they have two parties?) What are those traditions? Stay up until midnight, prove you’re sober enough to count to ten, and then about ten minutes later head to bed. There’s this big build up, a burst of excitement and kissing and everyone yelling “Happy New Year!” and then… nothing. It ends. It is the most anticlimactic party ever.
What I like to do is watch the first sunrise of the new year. Who cares about staying up late and drinking? Sure, you get to experience the first moment of the year, but then you pass out and waste it. Wake up early. Dress warm, and find a place with a good view, with those who are closest to you. Don’t have a big party, just quietly watch the sun come up, and the new year start. There will be plenty of time to stress and go crazy throughout the year, but I think it’s a good omen to start it off in a peaceful moment of reflection with some good friends.
Then go get breakfast, and maybe take a nap.